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how_much_does_a_hemingway
sacramentalist

grrr

This isn't the sort of shit I'm talking about, but this pisses me off, too:

My piano teacher (yes, I'm trying to learn the piano) was flipping though my notebook and hit a couple pages of equations my wife sent me to crunch for her. Sometimes I need to write something down, and my music book is right there. Anyway, J always balks and gets math-panic when she sees my cyphering.

"What did you go to school for, anyway?"

Me, pausing "... Electrical Engineering"

Her, pausing "But you don't work as one."

Me, "no"

Her, "But that's unusual that someone so to school for something so specific and doesn't get into it"

Me, "Yeah well, you'll find I'm not a typical engineer. In fact, you probably won't see too many engineers trying to learn the piano at 47."

"FORTY SEVEN??? Wow. You're going to be FIFTY in ... 3 years!"

"Yeah... thanks for pointing that out."

"But OMG, 50! 50 seems so old. I'd think you were in your late 30's, maybe 40. But not as old as 50."

"OK, you're not making me feel better."

"Hahaha!"

"OK, now you're laughing at me"

"No. I'm laughing with you"

"I'm not laughing"

"I can tell, you're laughing on the inside."

"Let's just do this before I say something mean."

"No, you can come at me."

"Let's just do the lesson."



Fuck. I'm pretty sure she's just teasing. But lady's gotta learn to not be a butthead. So, I have three options:

1) bite back -- which would only make her cry

2) make a fuss or fire her

3) trust she's just teasing and not be so defensive


So now I'm just stewing...

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"But OMG, 50! 50 seems so old. I'd think you were in your late 30's, maybe 40. But not as old as 50."

Option 3. Fifty IS old. Which I'm allowed to say, since I'll actually BE 50 come November. If and when you're allowed to pass for ten years younger or better...? Roll with it.

Of course, the last girl to say that to me was still in her teens and had this shy-cute thing going on, so that mighta rolled off my back a little easier. Did she not notice her Moms trying to cozy up and flirt? Kids these days.

Pfft! You look 25, dude.

OK, I don't want to be 50. Fuuuuuck.

But y'know. If you ever talk to even older people, like 80-year olds. They're nostalgic for being 50. That's probably the age they were when the hormones were less trouble and the kids were outta the house so they have money.

J tried to make me feel better by saying something about getting grey hairs. She's got a mane of gorgeous black hair.
Then I was all squinting "Oh! I didn't notice that until now. Now they're all I can see! I'll be sure to point new ones out for you."

One of my employees' mother came to visit him one day. And I was all "wait -- she's MY age. how does that happen? When did I get old enough to be a parent of my punk-ass staff?" And she's a Nona, now. She's probably dealing with that, too. Haha.


Back in my mid-30s I was hanging out with this young barely adult girl who said, "You're almost old enough to be my Dad." I went borderline nuclear (she was 20 maybe? I was 36) and fumed "only if I was VERY irresponsible!" She didn't say much after that.

Perhaps 2-3 years after that (cuz we were those Very Close Friends Who Never Dated) she gently broke the truth to me: In reality, I was very slightly older than her father. Couple months or so...? I. Felt. SO HORRIBLE 'bout my outburst.

Oh, ouch! That's a lesson for all of us to learn.

My ex-wife (58) is the same age as my wife's (37) mom. This blows Dr C's mind. Ugh, I hope they never meet. But then, C's more annoyed I'm old because she can't bemoan turning 40 when I'm turning 50. Meh. Life's just an inexorable march to the grave.

(Deleted comment)
RAGE RAGE AGAINST WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE

I'd go for option three if at all possible.

I'd go for three. Just because I think the turning point of the conversation was where you said, "You're not making me feel any better," and she laughed -- because she thought you were making a joke. So she wasn't laughing at you, she really was laughing with you.

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