?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Previous Entry Share Next Entry
grouch
sacramentalist

Splitting heirs

What is the message to adopted people when everyone clarifies Dylan Farrow was an "adopted" daughter? Are they pointing out the contrast to Soon-Yi Previn, the step-daughter the man groomed and married? Or are they minimizing his role as a goddamned parent? Well, it wasn't "rape" rape. And she wasn't his "daughter" daughter.

  • 1
It bugs me too. He should have taken on a parental role to both of them, but instead he went pedo. He is a miserable man.

Well, I don't know if he's a pedo. He's skeezy for marrying his stepdaughter. However, I just hate the qualification of adopted daughter. I guess people just do it to differentiate her with his step-daughter, now wife. For such a low-profile man, he sure can have a ruckus.


(no subject) (Anonymous) Expand
I hold a decades long ban on Woody Allen anything. I was very young when the scandal with Soon-Yi broke and my mom explained what it was all about. I was thoroughly grossed out (as a nine year old) and swore off his stuff forever.

I can't even with the whole thing.

I didn't really see the hooplah until I had my own step-daughter. I split with her mother 10 years ago. She's 26. If we were date, it would be skeezy.

Weird cause I'm watching Nip/Tuck and the mother and son were sleeping together, but it's ok cause she reveals that he was adopted so it's not REALLY incest.

Ewwwww

Adoptive counts!
Step counts!

Soon-Yi wasn't his step-daughter.

Whatever. She was the daughter of his partner of many years, even if they didn't live in the same house, or have sexual congress for 10 years.


It's terrible. I also dint understand how people can hear someone say "this is what happened to me", and then defend him.

Hmm. I find the FB threads I've seen have end with a little compassion once someone comes out as abused.


Yes. The whole thing blows my mind.

I think some people think that as long as a daughter is adopted, it can't REALLY be incest.

But one of the reasons for the parent/child-incest-ban is that we instinctively feel that there should be safe spaces for children. They should not be sexually exploited by the big strong adults that they live with and have to obey. Regardless of whether those adults are blood-related or not.

While I don't want to a) say that it wasn't skeevy for Woody Allen to start a sexual relationship with a woman to whom he was a parental figure when she was a child; b) say that if Woody Allen did sexually molest this other woman when she was a child, that isn't horrific; c) say in any way that someone's adopted child is not their child, I do think
-the taboo against paedophilia is about safe spaces for children.
-the taboo against incest is about propagation of a healthy species (after all, it's a taboo that extends to adulthood and to peer-to-peer blood relationships).
I realise you say "one of the reasons" and specify parent-to-child incest, but I just think that's artificial. The ban on incest is about specific blood relations you shouldn't have sex with. The ban on paedophilia is about protecting children. Parent/child incest is the intersection of those two taboos, but IMO the protecting children bit comes from the ban on paedophilia -- and disappears once the child is in fact an adult.

Edited at 2014-02-04 05:23 pm (UTC)

My daughter is adopted. SHE IS MY DAUGHTER. This is not negotiable. She is MY CHILD. The fact that I did not genetically contribute to her conception does not make me not her mother.

This. To me, you just go on the safe side when things like incest are on the table. Looks like it could be incest? Might be interpreted as incest? Find yourself saying quasi-incestous? Don't Do It.

Fun Fact: My college roommate's mom was in a quasi-incestuous relationship with her half-sister. Ended with restraining orders for everyone.

Blood or not, what he didn't wasn't ok. Took advantage of girls who were far younger than he is. Neither of them had a fraction of his worldly experience. They were kids and they looked up to him as an adult, a trusted adult.

Like Roman Polanski: Yes, you're a brilliant filmmaker. Yes, your life was hit hard several times with tragedy. Yes, you have greatly suffered from those many painful loses. No, none of that excuses you from what you did. No, support from all those fans and peers doesn't excuse you, either.

To answer your main question, there is no rational or sensible reason that the media keeps referring to this woman as "Woody Allen's adopted daughter." It could be said that it's so it's clear that whatever he did, it wasn't incest, but so the fuck what. It was child abuse. As your friend morningapproach says above, incest might make people squick, but if it's between consenting adults, these days there are ways to handle that without ending up with inbred children. But if it's child abuse, well, that's horrific.

I also think that another reason she's referred to as his "adopted daughter" is that the media always makes that distinction, and I think that's wrong. I completely understand why adoptive children and parents take issue with it.

  • 1